Sixteen Years Ago Tonight

I had been up most of the night in Fresno, unable to sleep since June told me that her water broke while she was at a restaurant with friends. I was supposed to be giving a workshop for CSU faculty, but that never happened. The next plane out was at 6am so I spent the night tossing and turning and imagining what my son would look like. Dark, curly hair, I pictured, and later he'd be tall. I thought about renting a car and driving to San Diego but it wouldn't have gotten me there much sooner and it surely would have gotten me there in no shape to be helpful.

June tossed and turned that night in the hospital all alone. I arrived just before 9 in the morning and we spent the rest of the day waiting for Alex to arrive. And by dinner time, without complications, he was here.

It seems as though it couldn't be 16 years ago already, and simultaneously it seems as though he's always been part of my life. The little guy I held and crooned "Good Morning Starshine" to that night is almost 6 feet tall. The big present tonight was prepaid driving lessons, and just another two birthdays from now he'll be watching the mail for college acceptance letters.

It's been so fast and deep and so beyond what I imagined. Happy Birthday Alex! Thanks for being such a great kid.